These agreements are particularly useful after an argument, getting together again after a split or in the case of healing painful differences in a romantic relationship. It could also be great for reaffirming an already secure and happy relationship! It is a general guide, some of them of course do not need to be followed exactly, but they should help you re-establish a loving, healthy, secure bond with your partner.
- Accepting differences of opinion: the right to have or believe them, respect them.
2. Be aware of the power/words you are saying, and this connotations. Use them productively and wisely.
3. Support each other, encourage, trust the good intention of the other person. Believe in each other.
4. Take equal responsibility for any argument or event that occurs in the relationship.
5. Leave the past in the past.
6. Be humble, avoid being judgmental, talk to the other person with love as much as possible.
7. Try not to be easily offended, affected, or jealous of the others confidence/enthusiasm.
8. Be aware of insecurity and each other weakness, minimise situation that could lead to that.
9. Minimise other friends relationships that could damage the relationship.
10. Avoid calling people attention in a sexual way.
11. Be aware of people flirting with you and remember to maintain boundaries.
12. Respect each other space and time alone and try not be offended when someone needs time alone.
13. Prevent situations that could become upsetting or stressful.
14. Always maintain self control and collaborate in the temper of your partner.
15. Go on dates + plan regular activities.
16. Be aware of the power of mindset, try to separate money/stress mindset from relationship mindset.
17. Don’t be afraid of challenges: try to see uncomfortable situations as challenges and understand why they are occurring.
18. Respect the other person’s autonomy.
19. Family planning every week: VISUALISATION of a positive future.
20. MAINTAIN PERSPECTIVE and humor.
21. Appreciation MUST be expressed as much as possible.
22. 90% of conversations should be uplifting, loving and caring.
23. Listening to or watching comedy every week helps you remember nothing should be too serious.
24. Channel emotions through sport, dance, games, workshops and art.
25. Be clear and remember to communicate things that are important, and not to get upset when things are miscommunicated, but to remember that it is miscommunication rather than your partner who is at fault.
written with Juan Cortes Mancilla.